Bonkers Breakfast Time
by Laid-Back Brit
Summary: At the start of a new day, Danger Mouse is ready for a good breakfast so he can start a busy day of saving the world and defeating the forces of evil. Too bad such a routine household task isn't so straight forward for the world's greatest secret again. At least, not when he has the world's worst assistant. One-shot.


**Little Danger Mouse skit I came up with based on an idea that came to me in a dream. Hope it's okay. ^^'**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Danger Mouse.**

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Danger Mouse opened one of his eyes, his other hidden behind his eyepatch as always. The first streaks of daylight were creeping into his bedroom. He yawned and stretched before leaping out of bed, then headed swiftly out of the room.

The world's greatest secret agent purposefully made his way through the pillar box that served as his home in London. He was ready to begin a new day of saving the day. It was such a demanding job, foiling the sinister plans of Baron Greenback and other forces of evil. No matter how menacing or threatening the foes he would face would be, it was not a role Danger Mouse would trade for anything. Nothing mattered more to him than the safety of the world.

"Penfold!" he called to his cowardly, hopeless assistant. "Are you up yet?"

"Yes, Chief!" answered the timid, young hamster. "I'm already in the kitchen, just about to serve our breakfast!"

"Well I hope it's not toast again after what you did to it last time!"

"Crumbs, Chief!"

"Yes, exactly!" The white rodent rolled his one visible eye as he made his way down the stairs which led to the lounge. "That's all we had last time! Crumbs!"

"Well don't you worry, DM! I've made us some nice eggs today!"

"Oh good!" Danger Mouse smiled as he prepared to step into the living room. "I'm in need of a good feed to do my duty today! It takes plenty of energy to be the world's greatest secret agent! You have to always be on your toes and on the aler-WRAGH!"

With a loud cry, Danger Mouse was thrown off his feet before landing with a crash onto the lounge floor. A groan of pain creeped out of him as he lay where he had landed roughly onto his back. He sat upright and rubbed his sore head – before yelling out as he was struck there by what had made him fall. It bounced off him before rolling away along the floor, coming to a stop near the foot of the other staircase.

"Penfold!" Danger Mouse called out, frowning when he saw what had thrown him onto his back. "I've asked you time and time again not to leave your football lying about!"

"Oh, Chief!" Penfold sulked as he made his way down towards the lounge on the other staircase. He was carrying a tray in one hand. Sitting on it two egg cups that were each holding an egg. "You know how important it is for me to practice my keep-ups if I want to join the London Hamsters football club!"

"Yes, but you need to put your ball away when you've finished with it! Leaving it on the floor for someone to fall on it is dangerous! I didn't see it!"

"Well, maybe you'd be perfectly be able to see my ball if you didn't wear that silly eyepatch!"

"Now look here, Penfold, don't diss my eyepatch!"

"I could see it perfectly – even without my glasses." Eager to prove himself and show off to his chief, Penfold pulled his spectacles off with his free hand, walking into the living room without them on. "You see, chief! Two eyes are better than one! Why would you only use one-"

"PENFOLD! LOOK OUT!"

Too late, Penfold stepped onto the football, resulting in him behind thrown upwards high into the air as the tray of eggs flew out of his hands. "OH 'ECK!"

Quick as a flash, Danger Mouse ran forward and stuck his arms out to catch his assistant. Penfold landed safely in his arms – then the white mouse had to move quickly to avoid the tray and egg cups that were falling from the air hitting them. Fortunately, he managed to get them both out of harm's way in time as the items crashed to the floor.

"Phew!" Danger Mouse breathed a sigh of relief – before suddenly glancing around in alert on remembering something. "Where did the eggs go?"

As if hearing their cue, the two eggs that had been on the tray came falling down from the air – before landing with a crash and cracking open on top of the head of the world's greatest secret agent.

"GOOD GRIEF!" Danger Mouse cried out with disgust as the egg yolks tricked all over his face. He released Penfold from his arms to wipe away the yellow contents that were staining his white fur and suit. "attacked by my own breakfast!"

"Cor!" Placing his glasses back on, enfold gazed up at his chief who was covered in the food he had caused to splat all over him. Unable to help himself, he let off a giggle as an amused smile crossed his face. "That was certainly un-egg-spected!"

"Oh…!" Danger Mouse groaned at the awful pun his assistant had made. "Not now, Penfold…"

"Oh, c'mon, DM! It was only a yolk!"

"Penfold…!"

"You can't tell me it wasn't a good one! It was cracking!"

"Penfold…!"

"It's something you just can't beat!"

"_PENFOLD_!" Danger Mouse exploded. "_SHUSH!_"

At that moment, there was a wail as the alarm rang out through the pillar box. The television monitor buzzed as it came on, displaying sat behind his office desk as usual was Colonel K.

"Ah, good show, DM!" he boomed from the screen. "Got a mission for you!"

Danger Mouse quickly turned his yolk-stained face towards the monitor. "What's up, Colonel?"

"By Jove, DM!" Colonel K's eyes widened when he saw his best secret agent covered in egg. "Whatever's happened to you! You're looking a bit off colour today!"

"Oh, don't ask, Colonel…" The white mouse muttered irritably.

"Don't ask?" The senile, elderly chinchilla repeated. "But if I don't ask, I'll never know what happened to you! So tell me, Danger Mouse, _what did happen to you?_"

"Oh, I just got attacked by giant mutant chickens!" Danger Mouse said jokingly. "They fired their giant eggs all over me!"

"Giant mutant chickens?!" The Colonel's eyes widened in alarm, failing to realise Danger Mouse was not being serious. "By Jove! However did they break into the pillar box?"

"No, Colonel, I was just joking. What's this mission you want me to-"

"This is no joke, DM! Giant mutant chickens are nothing to laugh about! Forget this mission I was just about to send you on! I'll have to send one of my other agents to retrieve my yo-yo stuck down a street gutter! A case of giant mutant chickens calls for my best agent!"

"But, Colonel, there are no gi-"

"'Course, no amount of giant mutant chickens would be any match for you, eh?!" Colonel K grinned and winked at the white rodent. "After all, you're the world's greatest secret agent!"

"Oh, I don't know about sending Danger Mouse to be the one with giant mutant chickens, Colonel!"

"Now look, Penfold…" Danger Mouse turned to frown at his assistant upon hearing him speak up about the non-existent threat the Colonel was fretting over. "Don't encourage him…"

"After all, DM might just end up with an egg on his face!"

Penfold giggled loudly at the umpteen bad egg-related joke he had made that morning.

"What's that?" Colonel K stared, trying to digest what the young hamster had told him – then began to chuckle as he finally grasped the pun. "Oh, yes! Good joke, Penfold!"

"No, Colonel" Danger Mouse folded his arms. "It was _not_ a good joke!"

"Not a good joke? DM, your little assistant is a genius at jokes! That one was _egg_-cellent!"

The pillar box was filled with laughter as Penfold and Colonel K howled with amusement at the equally terrible pun the chinchilla had made

Unimpressed with his assistant, his employer and their awful egg-related puns, Danger Mouse folded his arms, rolling his one visible eye. "Good grief…"

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**Thanks for reading. Sorry if this wasn't any good. ^^;**

**Cheerio! :)**


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